Last Why You Should, I talked about doing an internship abroad. Today, I want to talk about something more personal: Choosing yourself. My guess is that it is something most people struggle with: choosing yourself, or choosing themselves. Hell, I struggle with it at times. Sometimes, I have to really ask myself why I’m doing something, and if I really want to. I think it is important to ask yourself why you applied for this job, why you are in that relationship or still hanging on to that particular friendship. Below, I will share why we ALL should be choosing ourselves more instead of putting others before us. Why it is NOT selfish, and why you should probably do it more often.
Choosing yourself may relate to your current relationship, friendships, your job, your dreams and more. I think it is important to know that it is totally ok to choose yourself when it comes to personal advancement. You do not have to accept a job offer just because it sounds great or one is offered. Neither do you have to diminish yourself in order to make others feel comfortable. Also, know that you do not have to accept it when friends try to make you feel bad for not investing all your free time on them and their projects.
I am EVERYTHING
Indeed, I am EVERYTHING, but so are you. You are all you have and that is why you should choose yourself more often. Don’t get me wrong, you should care about others but not to the extent that you start minimizing yourself or disregarding yourself for the sake of others. Your whole life you’ll have to live with yourself and you’ll have to think about what you actually want. You can only assume what is best for someone else, however, when it comes to you, you get to decide what’s best. What someone else may or may not need may differ from what they actually need. Also, you need to make a distinction between people who use you and people who actually want you to advance in life too. Therefore, you have to decide what choices actually serve you and what friends are genuinely supportive.
Others are choosing themselves
A more logical reason why you should choose yourself more often is because others are choosing themselves over you. It is as simple as that. When someone asks me to help with their events and project, I need to think about the ways I can contribute, but also benefit from that experience. Not because I will only help when I’m benefitting, but because people should not expect me to use the building blocks for my dreams for theirs. I do a lot of things for my friends and I definitely have to start prioritizing myself more. That comes with setting boundaries and letting people know that certain things do not serve me anymore. There is nothing wrong with that. Even if people say otherwise, you have to decide for yourself whether it is or not.
it is important
Choosing yourself is important because you matter. Your dreams, aspirations and plans all matter. Obviously, to you they should. That is why it is crucial that you take some time to invest in just that. You cannot simply exist in this time and space and think that other people are more important or that their dreams are worth more pursuing. Therefore, choosing yourself lets other people also know about what you deem important. It sets boundaries and priorities. So, next time someone expects you to diminish yourself for their benefit, make a counter offer that forces them to compromise. If they refuse, a simple “No” suffices. It is important that you let people know that to you, you matter (most, or at least more).
Listen, I am not saying that other people are not valuable in your life, because they probably are. All I’m trying to say is that it is important to know at what point in your life you should put yourself first. Remember, you can not do it alone, and it is always good to ask for help.
When was the last time you chose yourself? For me, it was a great job offer that wasn’t a building block towards my dream. Also, it was denying people a free subscription to what I bring to the table as a friend. All in all, it was saying no to exchanging my genuinity for uncomfortability. Let me know in the comments below about a significant moment you chose for yourself
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